Money
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about money.
My relationship with money has always interested me. I come from a lower-middle class home: we’ve always had enough food on the table, been pretty warm during the winter, and I was never the type to ask for much in the way of gifts or large purchases growing up. Our actual financial situation was not bad, and I was quite content growing up.
My father however, held a scarcity mindset when it came to money: he would always be pinching pennies, going out of his way to drive to the gas station with a 3 cent discount per liter, scolding my brother and I about how we could have used our money better, how stupid our purchase decisions were, etc.. Over the years I feel this penny pinching, risk adverse mindset has embedded itself in me, and it’s something I want to work toward getting rid of this year. Money is important, but certainly not as important as dad made it feel.
Financial patterns I’ve noticed in my life:
I have periods of 3-6 months where I am exclusively focused on my work or job. Reality falls away during these sprints, and I do little besides work and exercise. I tend not to spend, and amass a nest egg by the end of the period. If I am working a job: I usually quit or get fired. At the end of a sprint I am always glad that I have some financial padding but always regret spending so much time living what I feel was such a monotonous, forgettable, and regrettable life.
In the periods following these sprints I tend to overindulge. My spending goes way up, inversely proportional to how much I’m bringing in and I tend to begin engaging in financial risk taking. In the past this has looked like: travelling, gambling on stocks, futures, crypto, overinvesting into a new hobby or interest such as BJJ, photography, or courses with high price tags. I once made $20,000 in a single day and lost $30,000 in the following week. At the time, this was my life’s savings.. That is the sort of unhinged risk taking I am talking about.
Thoughts around money I’ve been having recently:
“I deserve to indulge a little bit. I’ve worked hard recently”
“I might as well use it, it's not doing anything in my bank account. Plus: it’s not like I can take it with me when I die”
I am feeling like I am on the brink of another spending spree. I would like not to be and to break the cycle of earning and spending that I described earlier. But how can I do so?
What do I want to change / how would my situation look if it were perfect?
First and foremost: I understand that I am the root of my financial problems. I believe that everything in my life is ultimately my responsibility and this year: I am committed to doing my finances right.
In a perfect world:
I would possess skills or qualities that I felt could make me money at any time.
I would have multiple, and reliable sources of passive income.
I would be self employed, working on projects that were both helpful for others and profitable for me.
I would know what to invest into to generate gains, and when to reasonably indulge to maximize pleasure for myself and whomever I am with.
I would be living a life that is conducive to being able to pass onto my children the wisdom and skills necessary to navigate life effectively - not necessarily leaving them with a large nest egg.
How does this look when it’s operationalized?
Getting a financial mentor.
Developing valuable skills.
Developing a system that generates $5,000 USD Per month passively.
Spending responsibly and living within my means.
Celebrating life through internal appreciations, not external purchases.
That’s all for now. See you in the next one.
